What They Say vs. What They Mean
Posted on July 31, 2012 by Bruce Weinstein, Ph.D.
Words matter. They can be used to enlighten, entertain, or refresh the soul and spirit. But they can also be used to deceive, disrespect, or serve no useful purpose at all. Here is a short list of words used in a less-than-noble manner. I call this list, “What They Say vs. What They Mean.”
WHAT THEY SAY WHAT THEY MEAN "To be honest...." I usually lie, but this time I won't.
"At this time..." Now
"At this point in time..." Now
"At this particular point in time...." Now
"I wanted to let him/her down easy." I'd rather lie or avoid unpleasant
confrontations because I'm a coward.
"Let's decision it." I have absolutely no respect for the English
language and its important conventions
regarding grammar and syntax.
"Open the kimono." I'll adopt corporatespeak and appropriate
another culture's rich tradition to suit my
own purposes.
"Like....like....like" My parents/teachers never conducted
the intervention that would have stopped this
annoying verbal tic.
What’s on your list?
I’m with you completely on “to be honest” though I do think it’s become such a common phrase that it’s lost the meaning. In a similar vein, I sometimes wonder if people know what “confidential” means because I’ve had people tell me, “Bob told me this confidentially but xxx.” I sometimes stop people and ask if they’re sure they should tell me what they’re about to say given that they were told in confidence.
This doesn’t have direct ethical implications, but along with “like” our Toastmasters club is focused on the word “so” as a meaningless, unneeded introduction to a sentence. “So, should we wrap up?” when “Should we wrap up?” is all that’s needed.
I count myself lucky that I’ve never heard the kimono or decision-it statements.
This is a very thought-provoking article, Bruce. I learned a lot about taking out extraneous words from Deb Werksman of Sourcebooks who edited my book “The Wealthy Spirit”. Since it’s a page-a-day book, we were limited to 520 words each page, and I got good at trimming! I’ve been an entrepreneur for so many years, I’m not up on the corporate speak like “open the kimono” (which makes me laugh)! One of my least favorite phrases is “on the other hand”, and I avoid using “but” as much as possible.