To: Business School Graduates, Class of 2009
From: The Ethics Guy at BusinessWeek.com
Re: Your Future

Congratulations! Your hard work and persistence have paid off, and you are now on your way to a successful career in business.

In the coming months you'll be getting a lot of advice from family, friends, and general well-wishers, but please allow me, an ethicist, to offer mine as well. After all, many of the biggest crises today are a result of unethical conduct in business, and in the most recent annual Gallup Ethics and Honesty poll, business executives, advertising practitioners, and stockbrokers were among the least-trusted professionals. By taking the following guidelines to heart, you'll let the world know that you are a person of honor and integrity and are someone clients and colleagues can trust.

The Ethics of New Year's Resolutions

This is the time of year when we make lists of all of the things we want to change about ourselves. Some of the common ones are:

•Kicking an addiction

•Losing weight

•Attending religious services more often

•Being kinder to people

Let's face it: We don't accomplish most of our resolutions because most of the goals we set for ourselves are too ambitious. When we fail to achieve our objectives, we end up feeling bad about ourselves, and we return with a vengeance to the very behaviors we have vowed to stop.

In Ask the Ethics Guy!, we'll be exploring a variety of ethical responsibilities we have to others, especially our co-workers, the boss, and those who work for us. We'll also look at the five major ethical principles that apply in all of our professional and personal relationships. These are:

•Do No Harm

•Make Things Better

•Respect Others

•Be Fair

•Be Compassionate

What often gets overlooked in discussions about ethics is the duty we have to ourselves. After all, the five ethical principles described above concern not only how we treat other people, but also how we treat ourselves. If it is wrong to talk to a colleague disrespectfully, it is also wrong to talk to ourselves this way. Just as we should not harm others, we should refrain from harming ourselves.

This is where the folly of New Year's resolutions comes in. By setting the bar too high, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment, and this isn't being fair to ourselves. This is not to suggest that we ought not strive to improve our conduct and character—after all, this idea is the very foundation of ethics—but rather, that we ought to set goals we're likely to accomplish.

ACCENTUATE THE POSITIVE

In fact, all New Year's resolutions can be boiled down to one simple directive: Be kinder to yourself. Once you commit to treating yourself the way you'd like others to treat you, all of the other goals become a lot easier to achieve. (Of course, some of us treat ourselves much better than we treat others; the challenge in ethics is to find a balance between self-abnegation and self-absorption.)

If losing weight is your goal, why not let yourself off the hook and stop the negative self-talk about your size? You may find it becomes a lot easier to lose the weight and keep it off.

I speak from experience here: In August, I joined a popular weight-loss program, and I've been amazed to see the pounds come off, even though I indulge occasionally in what are sometimes labeled "forbidden foods." The trick, I've learned, is not to deprive myself of something I want to eat, but rather to recognize that the slab of carrot cake I want for dessert comes with a price: I'll have to jog a little bit longer the next day, or do without something else I may desire.

In other words, it's not through self-denial that I'm able to accomplish the goal of weight loss, but rather by treating myself with kindness. I'm finding that the more weight I lose, the better I feel about myself, and the more I'm able to accomplish the other things I want to do.

Why don't we vow to go a little bit easier on ourselves? We may be pleasantly surprised by what happens in our lives as a result.

This was originally published on BusinessWeek.com on December 29, 2006. 

Dear Ethics Guy: Last year I applied for a prestigious job with a major company and was accepted. I'm now up for a performance review, and I'm troubled by something I did to get the job: I lied on my résumé. It wasn't a big lie (by my standards, anyway), but it was definitely an "untruth." Specifically, I said that I had a double major in business and philosophy. I thought it would make me look well-rounded. In fact, I took only a few philosophy courses (including, ironically perhaps, ethics), so it's not as though I completely made it up. But it didn't amount to a second major.

My question to you is: Should I tell my employer about this during the review? It could definitely hurt my chances of a promotion or raise, and I suppose there's even an outside chance that they would fire me. I'm almost certain, though, that they will never find out about what I did. It's unlikely they would call my university at this point and discover that I wasn't a double major after all. Thus, from an employment perspective, I have only something to lose, and nothing to gain, by telling the truth now.

Also, I know that this doesn't justify what I did, but the fact is that practically everyone I know has fudged their résumé a little. I'm sure that employers know that what they're looking at isn't the whole truth and nothing but the truth. It's all part of the game.

Maybe it's because of my religious upbringing, but I do feel a little bit guilty about what I did, so unburdening myself might be a good thing. But I really don't want to lose this job, and my performance has been so strong that I probably will get a promotion or raise, or both, if I keep all this to myself. What do you think?

What you did was wrong, and you should tell your employer about it as soon as you can. Let's go through your letter point by point, since you raise a host of ethical concerns.

Dear Ethics Guy: Do you think it's ethical for people at work to do fund-raising on behalf of their kids? Every week, it seems, someone in my office is hawking candy for a son who's in the marching band or asking for donations for a daughter's walkathon.

It's especially troubling to me that our boss does this too, and of course no one can say no to him, even though he says that we're not obligated to buy anything from him. (He'll add, as if to pull on our heartstrings, "But my son is in the lead for top seller at his school, and if he wins, it will look good on his college applications.") I'm afraid that if I complain about this practice, it won't look good on my application for a raise!

The desire to help one's children is a noble and praiseworthy one. However, there are better and worse ways to offer help. Selling cookies, candy, and the like, or asking for donations on behalf of our children, raises several significant ethical concerns, which I will address.

"Never underestimate the other guy's greed." This isn't just a classic line from the 1983 Brian De Palma film, Scarface (written by Oliver Stone). It also reflects the attitude that has caused the economic disaster we're now clawing ourselves out of.

Isn't it time for a new way of thinking?

I propose the following leadership guidelines for C-level executives, investment bankers, entrepreneurs, and everyone else whose decisions can affect the financial well being of other people.